Yesterday

Hey Everyone, So the last few days were good. Kat has been eating which takes a lot of stress off me.  However, yesterday was interesting... Yesterday I went to the park with Kat; we sat under the playground hugging and kissing for hours, literally.  Then it happened, I found out that Kat was planning on starting a five day fast. When i found out she assured me that it probably would not last for all five days. She told me that she probably would eat the next day. So instead of me just leaving it alone like i should have, i had her come over to hang out and hopefully to eat dinner. There goes the perfect afternoon. She came over we played some video games; all  the while she was trying to figure out a way to leave.  Of course, my mother then walked into the room and said that Kat had to leave. My heart sunk. I didn't get to see her eat, and make sure she didn't purge afterwards. On retrospect i kick myself for doing that. That is not what i should have done in that situation. Oh well whats done is done. She left. When i talked to her on the phone she told me she ate dinner. I was overjoyed, and then i realized that i was selfish. I felt really bad; I didn't want her to eat just because i told her too; I wanted her to eat because she wanted too. I apologized; she said that it was not just because i wanted her too that she ate. I felt a little bit better but i still knew that I should never do that again. I dreamed about her. About how much I love her; and how i never want to put her in that situation again. I loved the first half of the day. That is what i am focusing on. That is what is fueling me. Our love of each other. That is what makes it all worth while. Thanks for all the comments Talk to you later, ~Paul~

Sorry about not posting

Hey everyone,

Sorry I didn't post anything I know you are all looking forward to what I am going to say.

Before I start I have to say that I thank all of you for commenting on my previous post whether it was good or bad. I really appreciate the criticism but I probably will not let it effect how I write.

Anyways, Tuesday was interesting… I worked with Kat and we talked about the best ways to quit which was interesting we came up with some cool ideas none of which I will be using. At lunch Kat didn't eat I watched as she gathered up all of her belongings and went out in search of jobs. I was fine with that I figured it was going to be one of those days and I mentally prepared myself for the fact that she was not going to eat. I used to let stuff like that eat me up but now I can relax and know that she is trying. Then after a few hours one of our managers spotted an uneaten sandwich and before anyone else could lay claims on it, Kat jumped in and took it. That shocked me I didn't think she was going to eat…

Later on I called Kat, as I normally do, and I asked about the sandwich. She said she had eaten it and then thrown it right back up. My heart dropped. I thought maybe she was going to eat after all. When I first found out she was throwing up, every time she did I would get really upset. Not to her but after we talked. But this time I saw it coming…

I remember one time after work we went for a walk around the plaza waiting for her parents to come pick us up; we hugged for what seemed like an hour it made me sooo happy. Then later on that night, while we were talking, she told me that she had thrown up. My heart felt like it was exploding. How could she do that? We hugged and cuddled each other earlier I thought that might change something… it didn't. Oh well I learned my lesson didn't I. After I talked to her on the phone I cried myself to sleep… I didn't do that much but that time was the hardest.

Anyways, she told me about her walk after work and how she fell. How it terrified her. It sent shivers down my spine… I didn't know what to say. I couldn't be there to help her; I couldn't do anything. She dropped the subject by saying that she did end up eating soup.

Yesterday was ok. Kat ate. She didn't throw up. It made me so proud. We didn't get to see each other like we normally do on Wednesdays because she had an interview and she could not come to our church event. So instead I decided to surprise her on her walk. Not a good idea. First off her walks are time for her to be alone. But she always told me how lonely they made her feel. Second she smoked on those walks. I hadn't seen her smoke before I didn't care too much. I don't really approve of smoking. Third I was not able to stay for long because I was wanted at home. Which understandably made her annoyed because she thought that walk was going to be different. On the plus side I did get to give her a hug. She really likes hugs.

I went to church. Came home and talked to Kat again. She told me how annoyed that made her. I felt really bad for doing that to her. So we will see how today goes when I talked to her on the phone a few hours ago she seemed happy which was good. I hope today is better…

Before I go I wanted to say as far as those posts on me not being able to save her by myself… I know I cannot I have God on my side. Whether you believe in God or not; I don't really care to be quite honest. He is what drives me. That is what I believe in.

Talk to you all soon

~Paul~

First post

So,


This is my first post on my blog I hope to make it a good one...

I have started this blog in the hopes that someone will benefit from my experiences with dating someone who is anorexic.

To let you all know I am dating Kat; here is her blog: http://proanaquest.blogspot.com/

Kat and I met under some funny circumstances.

Kat had heard about me from some of her friends and I heard about her from some of my friends but we never actually met. Then one day I went to our community pool and my sister, let’s call her Joy. So Joy and I went to the pool and we met up with one of her friends, lets call him Jason. So we swam for a while then we went home. When Dyke went back to his house he told his sister… you guessed it, Kat that he had a great time with Joy and Paul. Kat then said to Jason, “did you just say Paul!?” So the next Sunday at church Kat came up to me and introduced herself saying, “Hey I think you met my brother at our community pool.”

From then on Kat and I were best friends, inseparable it seemed. We went to the pool together and hung out together on a regular basis. We even worked together. Then one Sunday I was told by her friend Alex that she liked me. So the next day we went on our usual walk around the neighborhood. I told Kat what Alex had said and asked her if that was true. She said yes but she never thought that I would want to date her. It took some prodding on her part but eventually it came out that I liked her too. From then on things progressed somewhat normally we were dating.

Little did I know what I was getting myself into…

Well that’s the story of how we met and started dating in my next post ill go into more on the whole anorexic thing. Please leave a comment if you want.

Talk to you soon,

~Paul~